March 9

My hip hurt so I took a horse pill, the first time I have needed one of them for over a year. It was also hot in my room, with the air conditioning not seeming very effective. I did sleep, however, and woke feeling fit for the fray. Checkout was simple and I abandoned my bag, to be collected after lunch.

Outside it was humid but the forecast rain had not yet appeared. I caught the tram to Docklands, the latest and trendiest growth area in the city. To say that it was finished would have been slightly removed from the truth but there seemed to be quite a lot to see and do.

Docklands isn’t finished yet	What it should look like  ...
... and what it looks like now	Lots of shops

I found the shops, which looked good although they were still closed at 08.50. I tried but failed to find the water front. Where I expected to find it, there was a slight embarrassment. The frame of a large Ferris wheel was sitting forlornly, lacking most of its structure. The notice explained that it had turned out to be unsafe and most of it had been sent back to the factory for repair. There was a very fine picture of what it was meant to look like.

Being a very simple soul, I was surprised to see how slowly the escalators in the shopping mall were moving. I climbed onto them to see what happened and, as if by magic, they speeded up to normal sort of speed. Isn’t that clever! I suppose they are commonplace and that it’s just that I’ve never noticed them before.

	The sea at last
Energy saving escalators	Lots of cafes but no breakfast

Returning whence I had come, I found the water in precisely the opposite direction from the one I had taken. There were lots of cafes but they were all posh places for dinner and none of them offered breakfast to a hungry traveller.

Yesterday, I had been less than impressed by the lack of respect shown by the municipality to Dame Edna, its most revered citizen. Today there was an improvement in that there was a very tasteful statue of her, complete with purple hair and a bunch of glads. On the other hand, she had been placed with a group of other women, one of them called Melba (presumably someone from the ice cream industry) and a bimbo with bright red shoes and a pony tail who, I think, used to star in some sort of soap.

Left: Dame Edna in full bloom

Just round the corner was the Walk of Stars, Australian Variety's tribute to famous Australian entertainers. Among them, I was delighted to find a star for Bill Kerr. For the younger and less educated of you, he was one of the early stars of Hancock's Half Hour, one of the forerunners of British radio comedy. He also appeared in famous films such as The Dam Busters.

A star across the radio firmament	Godzone’s contribution

Close by was a star for a New Zealander, one Russell Crowe who, I think, is well known for footie and fisticuffs. I hoped there might be one for Dick Bentley, apparently Australia's best paid entertainer after WWII, and also a star of British radio comedy. He appears to have missed out. A shame.

With the rain starting to fall, I boarded the first tram that came past. This was the free one, which uses historic cars to take tourists round the city. It soon became uncomfortably full so I changed to a normal one - also elderly - which took me out to the area of the museum.
Onto the City Circle tram	This one was only slightly newer

The old exhibition building dates from 1880 and was constructed to house the Melbourne International Exhibition in that year. To this day it still houses exhibitions. When I explored the gardens, some sort of recruitment fair was either setting up or pulling down.

	The Royal Exhibition Building
Classic fountains in the gardens	Also excellent flowers

I took lots of photos of the gardens, the fountains and the building itself and then headed just up the road to the shiny new museum. I was not impressed by the new design and was rather confused as I remembered visiting an old style, masonry, museum on my visit in 1988. Enquiries revealed that this building opened in 2000 and that the one that I remember now houses part of the National Library on Swanston St.

My unfavourable thoughts about the exterior were rapidly replaced by much more favourable ones as soon as I entered the forest display.

This was, indeed, a forest, with huge trees, ferns, a waterfall and some beasties in glass houses.

There was even an indoor/outdoor area, enabling visitors to leave the collection and gaze across the parkland outside the building. An amazing display unlike anything I have seen in a museum elsewhere.

Opposite the museum is Gertrude St, an old working class area which has now turned trendy. One of the really posh restaurants scheduled for later in the week is on the street. There are lots of interesting old buildings, some trendy design shops, and a pub. With the high humidity and temperature, a cold Coopers seemed like a good idea. The Gertrude Hotel was another fine Australian pub. The food looked good but large and the cold beer was just what was wanted.

Gertrude St	The Gertrude Hotel
The Gertrude Hotel	Enoteca

The Arcadia Café was listed in the guide book as being popular. Unfortunately, it was so popular that there were people queuing out onto the street. I didn't even try to get lunch there.

Further along the street was the Enoteca, a posh café and wine shop. Under other circumstances, the prices would have frightened me but the Festival was about to start so who cares! The smoked trout salad was pricy for lunch - $15.50 - but worth every cent. The Eden Valley Riesling was cold and dry, just what I expect from an Australian Riesling. Outside, the rain was falling so I gave coffee and something sweet serious consideration.

The nice lady said that the chocolate brownie wasn't too large and she was right. It was very good and so was the coffee. People came and went. It was always full and it was obviously trendy. I wish I had had the nerve to photograph the guy with the highly waxed moustache and the gaggle of gorgeous girls.

Gertrude St after the rain
The rain had stopped as I rode home on a tram, collected my bag and set off again on another tram. I had assume that if I alighted at Flinders St station there would be a path under the railway line to the footbridge over the river. This proved to be correct. I then assumed that I would be able to enter the Langham Hotel through the shopping mall which opened out onto the river bank. This proved incorrect and I did several laps of the mall with my heavy bag before giving up and walking round the block to the hotel's main entrance, which faces away from the river.
	Over the footbridge

Reception knew all about me so I was soon in my room and in the lap of luxury. I have only stayed in a handful of five star hotels in my life and this was up there with any of them. The main staircase, with its accompanying water features, is spectacular. My room wasn't meant to have a river view but it did have a slight one. It also had an iron so I took the opportunity to iron all of my decent shirts for the posh functions ahead. My one quibble would be that the safe was too small for my laptop. Obviously it was designed in the day before wide screens became the norm.
	My room at The Langham
Almost a river view	The Langham water feature

With the rain having ceased, I had a wander along the river bank, photographed the military helicopters which were circling overhead and sat on a seat to have a drink which I had bought at a dairy. This proved to be a mistake as the angle of the seat was such that my bad hip seized up in no time at all and I had a real struggle to stand up again. The street furniture was both interesting and photogenic.

Melbourne South Bank
Circling overhead	Interesting street furniture

I managed to extract myself and walked a little further over the Sandridge Bridge. This has been developed as a memorial to immigration to Australia with panels covering each of the dozens of ethnic groups who have come to the country. Having studied the panels for a while, I took the footbridge back across the river to the hotel. One of the neighbouring towers has two bees climbing up it. I should have investigated the reasons but never got around to it.

The hotel internet was slow and expensive but I shifted some work and won't feel obliged to do any more until I get home. I then washed, shaved and prepared myself for a posh evening out.

We congregated in the bar, I met most of the party for the first time and we then set out for a ten minute walk in the rain. It seemed to take much longer than that but it might have been my imagination.

We set off on foot, in the rain and past the Crown Casino
	We climbed the stairs (low light and no tripod so lots of shaking) and reached our destination

Maze is in a large and ugly hotel, the Crown Metropol. We climbed the stairs, the staff welcomed us at the entrance to the restaurant like long lost friends and ushered us to our private area at the rear of the dining room.

I asked for permission to take photographs and they seemed delighted - as did all of the restaurants that we visited - and we took our seats and awaited developments.

Bread arrived, stored vertically in small vases and was accompanied by what we later discovered was butter and marinated seaweed. Quite delicious and like nothing I have ever tasted before. The German Riesling which accompanied it was very delicate.

Without detailing each of the dishes in writing, photos will be much more interesting, they were all very good.

The bread and marinated seaweed
		Seared yellow fin tuna, white radish, yuzu, enoki mushrooms and black garlic. Keller ‘Von der Fel’ Trocken Riesling, 2009 Rheinhessen, Germany
		Marinated beetroot with goats curd, Cabernet Sauvignon vinaigrette and toasted pine nuts. Clos Floridene Blanc, 2008 Graves, France

I have always been a fan of scallops but have never been able to cook them as I would have liked. The ones here were perfect, one of the stand out dishes of the entire week. The beetroot and goats curd was a fine example of what can be achieved with a little thought and the simplest of ingredients. The wine list was almost exclusively European.

We quizzed the staff about this and the view was that most restaurants in Australia served Australian wine so that the Maze was a place to try something different.

The chef appeared at the end of the meal to explain each dish and the waitress and sommelier offered advice throughout. Everything was very professional whilst also being very friendly.

The chef	The waitress

Just after 11 pm, we had finished eating and some of the party had left for home by taxi. The remainder of us were given a quick tour of the kitchen. The main point of interest was that the same kitchen served Maze - ultra fine dining; The Crown Metropol grill room - good hotel food; and the Crown Metropol room service - sandwiches at 3 am. A small handful of us then walked home again, arriving back at the hotel just after midnight. I hope my constitution will be able to survive several days of long hours.